Inner abilities, virtues and values

Going over the day again in the evening: Where did I act in line with what matters to me today – and where did I not? This is a small exercise that changes a surprising amount. Not a reckoning, but an honest look.

Where it did not work out, you can first imagine the situation unfolding differently and act differently next time. This is precisely where an attitude becomes a decision.

For this, it helps to be able to name the abilities and values you want to live by in the first place. The following list is my material for this – not a prescription, but something to go through and choose from.

What are virtues?

Virtues are desirable qualities of character that bring goodness into life.

What are Silas?

Spiritual schools, such as Buddhism, also call virtues Silas. Here, they are also regarded as rules of conduct that serve as an important prerequisite!

The Silas for a monk living in a monastery are usually considerably stricter than those for an ordinary practitioner.

Important inner abilities and virtues

On the spiritual path, virtues and Silas are considered essential for making progress.

For example, if there is a lot of conflict in life, how can calm arise? Doubts, on the other hand, explicitly belong here – they are not an obstacle, but part of looking honestly.

Below, I would like to introduce you to some important virtues:

Equanimity

Equanimity is the inner ability to maintain inner calm and an open-minded attitude in ordinary as well as difficult situations.

Much of a situation arises through our judgement of it – but not everything. Some situations are difficult even without any interpretation, and playing that down helps nobody. Noticing which part of my reaction comes from judgement is nevertheless a big step towards equanimity.

Forbearance

When you practise forbearance, you bear, for example, pain that you can do nothing about in the present moment, without worry, complaint or a wish for retaliation.

According to the tradition, collectedness arises from this non-resistance. What I notice myself is simpler: less friction, and therefore more strength for what actually needs doing.

Practising forbearance does not mean giving up, neglecting yourself or waiting out symptoms. Anything new, severe or unclear needs medical assessment – forbearance begins afterwards, with what truly cannot be changed right now.

Not harming

“Not harming” is perhaps the most important of the inner abilities.

We should not harm any living being, consciously or unconsciously, without good reason. This naturally includes yourself.

Making clear statements

“Making clear statements” is the ability to express your own opinions, wishes and emotions clearly.

Keeping promises

If you can “keep promises”, you do not forget your promises and statements, and you honour them. If you cannot or do not want to keep a promise, you should let the other person know in good time.

Taking responsibility

“Taking responsibility” means taking full responsibility for your actions and non-actions, rather than passing possible problems on to others or adopting a victim mentality.

Personal responsibility is one of the most important keys on the spiritual path.

Being decisive

“Decisiveness” helps you make a considered decision about open questions with ease and joy.

Ideally, your decisions create a win-win situation for everyone. But do not forget to consider your own needs too.

Having a basic trust in life

For me, “basic trust in life” means fundamentally trusting that life is bearable – not accepting everything blindly. Trust means listening, not following blindly.

Some things that happen are simply bad and are not meant for me; external circumstances are real and are not my fault. But I do not have to safeguard every moment to remain able to act.

Thinking in colours

“Thinking in colours” is the inner ability to see, feel and think in all colours, possibilities and opinions, rather than in black and white, yes and no, success and non-success, or right and wrong.

Being modest

As a “modest person”, you do not boast about your abilities, actions or possessions. Your self-worth is high enough that you do not need to do this to increase it.

Your priceless self-worth already shines through your simple being.

Being able to listen

As a “good listener”, you can listen to other people, as well as to yourself and your own thoughts, without being reactive.

While listening, you are fully present with the other person and set aside your own story and opinion.

Your mind is still, curious and attentive. While listening, you are not thinking your own thoughts, making a plan or preparing your answer.

Living your dreams

“Living your dreams” is the ability to have small, big or even very big ideas in your life and set out towards fulfilling those dreams.

What is your next step? What is needed?

Being appreciative and mindful

“Appreciative mindfulness” is the inner ability to be both mindful and appreciative towards yourself and others.

When you are mindful, you are fully here, without thoughts carrying you away – and you feel connected not only to yourself, but also to the other person and your surroundings.

When you are appreciative too, you recognise the worth of the other person. He or she is valuable. You feel joy and gratitude in this.

Appreciative mindfulness often changes more than any effort.

Your suggestion

Do you think an inner ability or virtue is missing? Then just write to me and we will expand the list. 🙂